Jan 19th 2009 Singapore

"Learning is not the accumulation of Knowledge, Learning is a movement from moment to moment." -Krishnamurti


I am writing this on the large balcony of the hostel overlooking Little India. There is a breeze but its warm enough forme to sit out with my shorts, tank top, barefeet and wet hair, freshly cleaned and showered after a long sweaty day. It feels very surreal to be wrapped up in this heat when my Montreal/Toronto counterparts and redfaced and cosying up together with hot tea and poetry. We have been here for around 24 hrs and have already seen loads. There is a mysterious blanket of stars and satellites above me in a cloudy streaked sky and after the long plane ride and anxious, eventful London departure I crave to be with myself in a pocket of quiet.

I was really ready to leave London. You know your ready when things are getting almost too comfortable and too good. Life is always really sweet before leaving, probably because of the fact your leaving, so you soak everything up. Had a really good week leading up to our departure on Saturday night. Seeing lots of friends and really appreciating our time with them. Brenda, Fahad and Daniel are my London strongholds because of the history in our friendships. They are three people with very wide open hearts. I also really enjoyed seeing Chris and Mark Young, brothers who I always have good flow of conversation with and ping ponging of stimulating idea throwing. Peace-ing out of London will be full of good memories for me, and I know I will be back after Australia.

I need to start with a bit of gratitude here,

for the smooth flight and arrival (by the way Emirates are by far the BEST airline I've ever
flown. We flew the biggest airbus in the world to Dubai and there were sparkly stars on the ceiling and good blankets.)
for the easy to understand and super clean metro system in Singapore
for the safe feeling I have in the Hostel
for Bart's patience with me
for the simultaneous nature/urban abundance experienced today
for hygenic tasty cultural food!
for the animals and their graciousness in the Singapore Zoo
for the fun i had taking photos and the function of my camera
for the juicy fruit and icecream we had in the Zoo
for this balcony and this moment
for the 50 young chinese school children that walked past us in a tsunami of hellos and one little girl told me "I love you!"

My body breathes shallow, stop analyzing why, the insides of my nose dry quickly, drink more water, my feet feel eternally heavy since take off, have I landed? I am swollen slightly, un flip flopped on the verge of athletes foot but my skin feels good. Groin muscles still sore and tight desperate to stretch, to practice awareness, for now this page is my yoga mat.

Last night when we got into the city, everything was made slow motion for us. Woke up feeling groggy and confused. First thought: Oh yeah, I'm in Singapore. Weird. Breakfast and off to the Zoo which is by far the biggest most beautiful Zoo/contrived type of attraction I've been too. TROPICAL wild life FOR REAL! No Biodome bullshit! Very lush, grounding surroundings. It was good to see the animals at the Zoo were in very open spaces and very close to the public so much so you could feel the magic of the interaction. There was also a huge focus on conservation with a memorial to Steve Irwin (Crikey!) who supposedly had alot to do with that Zoo and visited it often. The animals are so gracious for giving themselves to us (knowingly.) Allowing us to try and nourish them and willing to collaborate with us. Also at how present they are capable of being. Especially the monkeys. Committed to their way of being, their way of survival. The way their wisdom swings from tree to tree. Even though so many animals are in danger from human acts and this issue needs more of the worlds awareness, we still innately, deep in our collective consciousness so want to be their friends and protect them because we see our own vulnerability mirrored in their gaze. And so, humility is come upon, not so much cultivated, but the beauty, nature and orderliness stumbled on, unplanned, unexpected.

On our way back to the metro we stopped in a massive supermarket. It was the biggest and most diverse "buy any food product your mouth or belly desires" kind of abundant dimension. They even sold wheatgrass in large bags! (Something you totally could not find at Tesco or Provigo. Lots of exciting produce. I got some sushi and it was primo quality.

We got back to the hostel absolutley shattered and by lying on my top bunk I secretely coerced Bart into a powernap floating in the outside sounds of cars and what sounded like an outdoor bare naked ladies concert. It was probably just a radio. When we woke up I put on the dress I bought with Fahad and Bianca at Spittafields although it was too hot for it and I should have listened to my intuition! Today was follow yes, follow not fucking speak up, stand up to your intuition day. You know when your traveling and you have to make a decision and something inside you just tells you what you should do, pushes you in a direction. I miss a little bit the possibility of doing that while traveling on my own and learning. But I am also so lucky to have my closest most trusted companion and I try to think about that everyday and be the gratitude.

Singapore is a melange of Indian, Chinese and Malaysian culture and although they all co-exist the identity of the city seems lost sometimes. It feels like I'm in an oversized China town or Asian Mall where everyone speaks english. On our first night here when we were eating in China town and the waitress finished whispering in my ear that I "look like Britney," Bart said: "If all the people here and all over the world have as much "stuff" as I have. Holy fuck... What direction is the world going on." (Or it was something like that.) There is a vibe of consumption here. And abundance. One of the first thoughts I had was that this is all going on, going on, going on while everyone everywhere else in their pocket of the world goes on goes on goes on and nothing ever stops. Maybe I can learn the mores and uniqueness of so many country's and culture, visit monuments, pay fares, meet new people and take it all in. But why and how could any of it matter if I didn't create something from these observations and change the place somehow before I leave.

Is it as simple as leaving some sort of mark on the ground somehow? Maybe animals aren't claiming their territory with their piss, but desperately marking the space, not in ownership but just their presence, saying: "I was here, this is what i was thinking, this is how i felt." Just like the people at the Obama inauguration.

Tonight I ask the universe for tender grounded soulful healing sleep
for the stars to lift the weight in my feet
for support in my desire to write everyday
for clarity and synchronistic plans about where to go next
for the safety and happiness of my friends